07 February 2008

Lent it begin...

Ahh yes, that time of year when we put aside something for the greater good. We cleanse ourselves to reach higher planes, and stand humbly without.

Those days when you attend morning mass on Ash Wednesday, and have someone at work say "Hey, you have a smudge of dirt on your forehead."

Really, fucknut? You have a smudge of brain in your ass.

And what shall it be this year? I've narrowed it down to giving up chocolate or giving up dating for Lent.

I'm thinking dating is gonna win. I can stand not dating... chocolate? Never! I mean, it falls right before V-Day (which to any single woman is not a day of love and flowers - it's ALL about the chocolate!), and up through Good Friday. (Heelll-looo - Easter candy. It's not like we don't eat the malted robin's eggs, mini snickers in the pastel wraps and Reese's peanut butter eggs from February 15 on.) Jeez.

Seriously, I don't know what I shall forego this year. I don't drink much (she types as she's digesting the beer from Thirsty Thursday at work *hic*). I don't gamble (except on the road every day with idiots - some things one cannot control.) If you give up sex, then have it with BOB**, does it count? I could give up dealing with stupid people, but it would be pretty lonely. And really, what would I do for that warm, fuzzy feeling of superiority?

I could give up eating foods that are bad for me, but what would I eat? I eat THE four food groups: bread, cheese, chocolate and potatoes. Are there any others?

I already gave up smoking. OOOH, oooohh, I could give up giving up smoking! Yea, that's the ticket! Probably not a very bright idea, though. And we must consider the superiority angle of kicking the habit. And it was a shitty one to kick.

Hmmm. How about giving up not partying, trashing about, and being of high morals? That would get old quickly. The morning after lasts about 3 days at my age. Getting hammered frequently would probably put me down through most of Lent. Up side, would not have to be conscious for most of it. *pondering*

Well, hell Bill, I'm still at a loss... Ideas, anyone?

miss b

**battery operated boyfriend

**dildo you dumbass


George said...

I used to do this as a child, but it has been years. Right now I would give up ... paying bills for the time of Lent ... or maybe hmmmm ... I don't have a lot to give up ... so I'll stick with the bills

Tater said...

I love Lent! Give up the same thing every year--I give up being Catholic! Party my ass off, total debauchery. You should try it!

Pardon me, ‘twill be sober in 40 days or so…


Wien. said...

I'm not Catholic, but if I understand this lent thing correctly, I'm supposed to give up something that I crave, love, can't live without?

My laptop.

Do electronic things count, or would I have to dip it in chocolate first?


Miss B said...

ahh george, who needs Lent to forego their bills? *grin*

tater! *muah* good to see you again. as always, outside the box stellar idea! i'm giving up working and paying bills to take a trip to your neck of the woods for forty days. have the mrs put clean sheets on for me, i'll be there in 24 hrs or so... :) better yet, come pick me up in your jet!

wien, it's supposed to be a "not-so-good" habit or thing that's bad for you. The idea is to do without to bring yourself closer to Him as a purer person. Laptops would work, but really, what we try to do is give up something that really doesn't bother us in the first place. It's a Win/Win. ;)

Steph said...

Really, fucknut? You have a smudge of brain in your ass.

LMAO! cracked me up.

Give up douchebags for Lent. That'll work ;)

Tater said...

LOL, sweetie I really hate not being able to enjoy your blog at work anymore, means I only surf it on the weekends & occasional week night. But despite my delayed response, come on down dawlin!! Pack a bikini, flip flops and a toothbrush, ya won't need nuthin else. Mrs is cool, and the boat's all ready to go!