04 September 2007

Who's the Mom?

Oh, Junior's got me pissed off about six ways from Sunday today...

Let's review: Junior = adult child (18), Pickle = nearly 17 yo child.

Background: I am at work at my second job at the bar. Apparently Junior comes home to find Pickle in a rather heated embrace with her 17 yo boyfriend. Pickle tries to collect herself as Junior begins yelling at this kid, telling him he is not good for Pickle, she doesn't need to be around him, and she's taking him back to his house. She then calls and leaves a message on my cell phone at work, bitching a mile a minute. This is to what I leave work.

Oh, and a message from Pickle's father requesting I call him as soon as I get this message.

It gets better.

*begin rant*

I call Junior to find out what's happening. Instant fight. She's pissed off because her sister is going to "ruin her life" and she's going to keep that from happening and obviously I don't care enough about my daughter to keep her from seeing this boy and putting her in a box so she never has sex and never gets pregnant and does something with her life... etc etc yada yada blah blah blah. I remind her that 1) she's not the mother and 2) it's not her decision to make; it's her sister's. I get the "bad parent" label. I tell her when she has a 16 year old daughter who does this, then she can come talk to me about being a parent. I ask what the message from Pickle's dad is about before I call him. She called him to tell him what happened.

Oh for fuck's sake... I spent YEARS getting this man out of my business and off my ass, got his family to stop sticking their nose in every single thing I do, and she does this. And she's pissed at ME because I'm pissed about having to go through this again. I remind her that I am in charge of my household, he has no business knowing what happens unless I choose to tell him, and she needs to back off everyone.

*sigh* I call Pickle's father. Who, btw, takes great pleasure in letting me know that not only did Junior call him, but his mother, his sister, and the kid's mother. He appreciated that she let him know what was going on, but he thought calling the COPS was a little over the top. I just about dropped the fucking phone. I told him I'd call him back.

Ring Junior's phone. It starts again. I ask her to let me know if there's anyone ELSE she called. She doesn't understand why everyone's pissed at her. (Me, her sister, her boyfriend, her friends.) You have got to be kidding me.

Let's review. You walk in on a private moment and proceed to go apeshit, BEATING UP THE BOYFRIEND, yelling at him to get the fuck out, calling both the parents, the grandparents, the aunt and embarrassing her further. Oh, and then, AND THEN, because you can't get him to get in a car with your crazy ass, call the fucking police. To do what? Besides call HER FATHER.

Hmm, nope, don't see it either...

So flash forward. I call back. I talk to Pickle. I let her know that there's a trust issue that's been broken in my home, that things like this happen at that age and we hope that she remembers the information we've given her, and the decisions she makes will affect her for years. She squirms about it a bit, and I lay it out. "If you are old enough to be doing that kind of stuff, then you are grown up enough to have adult conversations about it, and deal with the consequences. If not, then you should think about not doing it until you are able to answer for yourself."

Good Gawd. As if being caught in an intense makeout session wasn't enough. Christ on a cracker, I hope this doesn't scar her. It's difficult enough learning to be truly intimate with someone WITHOUT ptsd recurring from adolescent embarrassment by an older sibling who obviously doesn't realize she's NOT THE MOM.

Pair this up with the little scene about the dinner date with the Brickman (who, btw has not called since) and I'm about fucking done. I'm tired of being alone, her sister needs to learn fundamental decision making lessons - even if it's the hard way, and she needs to learn that she is not in control of anyone's life but hers. She's about to get a very painful life lesson. Her sister is not speaking to her. I'm done fucking around with her. Embarrassing the hell out of people is not the way to accomplish anything, and this would not be the first time she has made it difficult for me to be with someone.
*end rant*
i am tired of arguing with people. i am tired of stupid shit. i am tired of drama as a way of life.


Wien. said...

Yikes All Mighty!!!! Who died and made Jr. Miss the boss mom? The last time I checked it wasn't you! I think she needs a little shot of teen age reality.

You're right, she's not the mom. She should be the cool, confide in me sister who says, whoah Pickle, wait a minute. Knock that shit off! Make sure she's got what she needs to be safe and then sneak and tell you, not call the local news and all the relatives.

So, when is Junior getting her own place now that she's acting all grown up?

Good luck Miss B. Take your roll back as the mom, not that you gave it away, but someone thought her britches were big enough to take it from you.

Your pal,

Miss B said...

Ahh Wein ~ she's such a strong character and so passionate about her family... I wonder if she'll fit into my hope chest... :) And she's not been at the house for the last couple nights, but she's dropped her laundry off and ate leftovers from the fridge... heh, won't be long now!

Thanks Wein... *hugs*

George said...

Miss B, I think the saddes/funniest part of all this is that Jr probably still thinks she did the right thing.

Your family of 3 does sound a bit like a zoo though ... sorry, I didn't mean that in a bad way.

Miss B said...

Actually George, it's a family of four, but rarely is there a break in the hilarity... :) And yes, she thinks she did the right thing. For this reason alone, I look forward to grandchildren, and hope she has 2 girls.