10 August 2008

Guraj Sayl Kween R I...

OMG

Up at 715 on Saturday (not typical unless I'm working in the yard moving trucks around) and not only am I up and around, I AM GOING GARAGE SALING.

Yes, folks, two of the women at work talked me into it. I know. But in part of my quest to be more social and not hermit-like, I agreed. So we met at J's house, and she, I, P and T went garage saling from 830 until 315PM. I thought I was going to die. In and out of the SUV. Traipsing through people's yards. Snooping through stuff, and actually having FUN. wtf? The area had the Lincoln Highway garage sale, where everyone who lived on this road from one end to the other, had a sale. We must have gone to 20 and finally had to stop for fuel (of the food kind) and just to sit down, not in a car. Amazingly enough, even with four women sharing one vehicle, we had room for everything.

Now, I'm not much at this garage sale bullshit, but I did pretty well. I found some of my favorite face lotion (the nectar of the gods) that is usually $18/bottle brand new in the box for ONE DOLLAR. I tried to not jump up and down, clap my hands and squeal like a little piglet the whole time I'm paying for it. Of course, they only had one, but I was happy enough.

A bit later I found four dresses (three for Pickle and one for Junior) for $20 (I talked them down four bucks-go Miss B) and they are sweet! If I could fit my fat ass in them, I'd wear them. They're classic. And they fit them. One of them still had the store tag on for thirty bucks. Excellent.

I found a few odds and ends, and at this one fabulous place, a solid oak kitchen table 5.5 feet by 3.25 feet with thick carved legs, for $50. I paid $30. Don't hate. It's in pretty decent shape, and I could sand and refinish it (maybe one of these days.) Alone now, it's still awesome.

But by far, the best thing I found was a vhs tape of ALL BUGS BUNNY CARTOONS. 50 cents. Score! Right up there with Scooby, Bugs is the shit. And none of that silly Daffy Duck or Elmer Fudd crap. *bobs head back and forth* Uh huh, who da man?

So I get done with that, drag everything home, and pass out on my couch. I have 45 minutes before I have to get ready for girls night out with A and R. Home girls wanna party.

We head to the capital, grab some awesome frickin' ribs with sauce so hawt n sweet I thought I was dyin'. Not wanting to party too much and have to drive an hour or so back to their place, we decided to head back and hit one of the local haunts. During the ride back, which included a pit stop for overfull bladders and rib removal, we decided we were just going to watch movies at the house and have a couple drinks. Two of us have CDL's, and one has sugar. None of us need to be inebriated on the road. And since I drink about twice a year, I don't care to babysit others, who tend to get loud and goofy when they drink too much. (Yea, been there before with these two.)

So we hit town, stop at wally world, grab sweet tea and chocolate chip cookies (I know, party animals) and head back. We get there, get in our pj's, and sit around watchin' something before I pass out 15 minutes later. Yea, I'm a wild one. Our carousing night on the town was one drink with dinner, and passing out on the couch. Sounds like my last date. buahahaha.

Anyhow, we decided we just weren't in the mood for a three day hangover anymore. *bawls* I'm so old.

Ugh. A and R are an "item." A is my bestest friend in the world. I worked with her for 5 years, and we were hell on wheels, in every sense. Well, she hooked up with R, who is nice enough, but something about her just aggravates the livin' piss outta me. Not that I would ever tell A. R is constantly sick, always calls me FOR A, gets morbidly depressed if A has to be away from home (she finally had to take a local job where she was home every night) and has to be in the middle of every conversation. On the way back, A was driving, R was shotgun, and I was in the back, trying to steer and brake because that's just how I am. Meanwhile, the entire drive back, R is yappin' on about this and that, so and so, yadda fuckin' ya. I had to consciously make myself answer her, and not roll my eyes when she was looking. I'm hoping I didn't shoot daggers through her with my eyes and send the "SHUT THE HELL UP" message. I would hate to hurt her feelings, and I know A really cares about her. R is always telling me to not be a stranger, she thinks of us as good friends, blah blah blah. I'm not one to have a lot of "girlfriends." Women piss me off, and I usually do the same because I just don't think and act the way they do. R is one of them. Am I awful? No, she's just aggravating.

Well, Pickle made it home from her dad's tonight. *sigh* This was his weekend, and he told her she "HAD" to come home. So much for not having to come home all summer.

Anyhow, she had to work Friday night from 5-10 with Junior. Apparently, when she got to his place, the door was locked. (She doesn't have a key; has never been allowed. *rolls eyes*) So he opens the door. And stands there staring at her, unspeaking, for a couple minutes, til she finally walks past him and goes inside. And doesn't bother to speak to her the rest of the weekend. Here I am, giddy with my garage sale finds, waiting for her to get back so I can share my treasures with her, and she has to deal with that crap. On the bright side, she worked 'til close last night, and again from 4-9 today, so she didn't have to be around there long. I'll be glad when this is finished.

Oh, ooooh, OOOOOH. I asked one of the warehouse fellas (who happened to be going to the local automotive college) to check out my brake pads for me. Always want to stay ahead of that game - I've done the rotor replacement thing before. Not a trip I want to take again.

Well, dingledork pulls off the front tires (I told him not to worry about the back ones) and checks them (I look too, 'coz I want to make sure he knows what he's doing - LOL) and puts them back on. I tell him thanks, and I'll buy him a beer at the next Thirsty Thursday. He comes over to me and tells me there is something I could do.

*hackles up because I know what's next* What's that?
DD: How about a blowjob?
me: How about I kick your ass out of the shop?
DD: Oh, come one, I want to know what it's like with someone else.
me: Aren't you engaged?
DD: Yea, but I've never been with anyone else. I just wanted to see what it was like.
me: Well, aside from the fact that I'm old enough to be your, um, aunt, (shut up) I'd hurt you, hell no. Don't make me beat the shit outta you.

Well, dingledork opens the overhead door and stands back while I back my jeep out around a truck that's unloading. As I put it in drive, he steps up and says, "Are you sure?"

Laughing, because at this point I'm ready to claw his fucking eyes out, I just roll forward and wave.

*begin rant*
WTF is wrong with people? I can't even stand to look at him when he comes through the office now, and of course, I sure as hell am not going to hang around the shop on Thursdays for a beer with the guys, because this stupid sonofabitch has now taken it beyond "one of the guys" level. I hate when stupid people spoil my fun. I should run over you with the street sweeper, or drop a 50 pound bag of feed on your head. Assclown.
*end rant*

And... You CAN Fix Stupid. Stupid is gone. Yep, the brainless twat (22, big boobs, little brain) at work finally pulled her final stunt. She had been late all week, and on Friday at ten after eight, she called in and told the HR Guy she overslept and would be in. We figured around 9 or so. 930 comes, and we're told she called HRG to let him know she needed to take her daughter to the doctor and would let us know if she got her in or not, and since she was already late, she was just going to take care of this, so she wouldn't have to take time off another time. Round about 1230, HRG and the office manager were talking, figuring she must've been able to get her daughter into the doctor. One of the owner's wife said it would be nice if she could pencil us in a couple days a week (I rolled; she doesn't typically say things like this about anyone - we were all just fed up.) So 1pm rolls around, and HRG calls Stupid Twat and asks her if she's coming in today.

ST: No, I wasn't really planning on it.
HRG: Really? Why not?
ST: Well, since I was going to get written up for being late, I figured I'd get all this other stuff out of the way, that way I wouldn't have to worry about it.
HRG: Well, you don't.
ST: What?
HRG: Effective immediately, you are laid off. You need to turn in your key, while someone is in the office, because you are no longer an employee, so you are not allowed to be on the premises.

Whoa. So what does ST do? SENDS HER OLDER SISTER IN TO PICK UP HER THINGS, DROP OFF HER KEY AND PICK UP HER FINAL PAPERS.

*shakes head* what a complete dumbass. She is so used to shaking her ass and getting people to do everything for her (male and female) and expects the world to take care of her. She told us she has one guy to buy her cigarettes and food when she's hungry, another who buys her dresses, and she's "seeing" a 38 year old who really "gets" her. No, dipshit, he "gets off" on having a cute little 22 year old brainless twat to suck his dick for a little food or a pack of smokes, and no commitment to you or your TWO KIDS. It's the oldest profession in the world, honey, and you have a money-maker.

*talks to self* don't hate... you were 22 once, and cute. she WILL get old. and god-willing, fat. stop being so bitchy.

Speaking of stupid... I'm undressing tonight so I can shower up and smell pretty after waiting on aggravating, rich boat people tonight, and I have this cute, little pink bra with sheer polka dots on it on. As I'm taking it off, I realize, I have the fucker on inside out. Well, that would explain the little bumps all over the girls from the pattern. Dumbass.

Back to the grind... hope your weekend was just as stellar!

*hugs*

1 comment:

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

OMFG.

There's your humor again.

YOU KILL ME woman.

KILL ME!!!!!!!