12 July 2008

Today I'm Seven...

and a princess once again.

I have the flu. The yucky, fevery, achy, lay on the couch because it hurts too much to move flu. I left work at lunch yesterday, and called off from the tavern last night. Not the norm.

Of course, I have Dr Dad and his favorite two prescriptions: Listerine and Vicks Vap-o-rub.

Stop laughing.

Seriously, unless you have tried it, don't knock it. You can't breathe? Boil a half pan of water, put a glob of Vicks in and lean over it. I hadn't been able to breathe through my nose for two days. It was WON-DER-FUL. Of course, don't open your eyes, because it will sting like a motherfucker.

Anyhow. Listerine. The nectar of the Gods. The crass, harsh, sting like a thousand wasps, gag a maggot nectar of the Gods. This stuff is foul. And you gargle with it every time you move. It knocks the piss right out of the bug, and keeps the infection out of your lungs. But you have to gargle it deep in your throat, not just swish it around. You'll know you're doing it right when you tip your head back, feel the foul burning run down your throat and quickly move forward to puke in the sink. Excellent.

Laugh if you may, but my dad has used that every day for as long as I can remember, and the man has missed only 3 days of work from being ill in 38 years. Seriously. One of those days was because of a fall he had taken and hurt his back. Actually, he probably just rubbed Listerine on the hurt part and it killed off the sore flesh.

So as I'm in and out of consciousness, tossing and turning, sweating and shivering, I wake to Dad sitting in the chair across from me, silently keeping watch to make sure every time I wake up I use my Listerine. He brought me two plastic cups. One to drink from and one to spit into. (Please don't spill the spit cup) And as I'm feeling better at times and wanting to get up and do things, I'm told to lay back down and rest. That's the only thing that's going to kick this; rest, vicks, and listerine.

Who's taking care of whom here?

Anyhow... hope you're all having a wonderful weekend. More dad stories, and lots to catch up on when I can sit up a little longer.


~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

Damn. Summer flu? OMG, I'm so sorry baby girl.

Be well sooner than soon.

You are loved.

Bollinger Byrd said...

got here coursey of the beautiful pixie.
sorry your feeling so rotten.
if it's any consolation here in the Uk all we've got is rain so we can only get cold weather flu this year!