20 February 2008

a walk through my childhood... oh, and fast forward to old frickin' age

tonight was a fun night. me and the two girls for dinner. (on me of course, because full-time students with part-time jobs are ever-so-slightly poorer than i.)

i pick up pickle. she tells me about her prom dress, her competition this past weekend for solo & ensemble ("1" on both the woodwind quartet AND her singing solo - the highest score *proud mom moment # 18,473*) and the news of the latest struggle with her father. she's decided she's going pre-med, neurology. possibly pediatrics. we discuss college options, and how we need to get on the ball this year for apps and funding searches.

we get to junior's place (which is also pickle's grandparents.) junior had been fighting the flu for a week. she went to the er once, and again to the doc's. strep test negative, but if the latest round of meds doesn't kick her out of it, they're testing for mono. great. good gravy, she's costing me more now that she's an adult than she did as a kid.

anyhow, chit-chat with the elders and decide to go on into town. my hometown. where i have not been back to in close to 15 years. it's grown so much, and yet, it's STILL a 3 stoplight town.

park in front of the old diner to find it is now a mexican restaurant. awesome. and pretty decent food, although not as spicy as i'd like. decide to walk through town to see what's changed. man.

old bar is now an investment place. (hint? maybe) senior citizen's center is still there - guess people are still getting old in town. the pharmacy moved 2 doors down and got pretty good sized. down around the corner to show them the house in which i was raised. told them of the layout inside. shared a story of me and my brother climbing out my parents' window to play on the roof until a "concerned" neighbor called my mom and let her know we were out there. busybody bitch. we were having fun! and it was ONLY one story up for cryin' out loud. of course, we were 3 and 5. showed them where the trees used to be before the city cut them down. laid out the area between our old sidewalk and the neighbors' which was the perfect distance for kickball, football, and gymnastics contests. And now would suck because someone planted a tree right in the middle of the property line. how gauche. told them the stories of me and my brother riding our hot wheels (with racing stripes!) down the hill in front of our house to which we would yank on the cool hand brake, skid the tires and whip around to a stop. walked back uptown and showed them the wall of the theater where on a cold day i swooped into the alley, lost my footing, hit the wall and broke my skateboard. it was a cool board, too, back before they got really wide and hard to handle. walked downtown, showing them where the old jewelry store used to be, the pizza place where i worked when i was preggers with pickle, and the cool library in the high school basement BEFORE they built the great big one that pickle loves so much.

then we went to the coffee shop. that used to be the pirates cove burger joint. that used to be terry's drive-in malt shop and had the best. pizza. ever. wow. big culture change there. although, it was awesome. they had cappucinos, espressos, lattes, smoothies, books AND magazines. cool books and mags. (lisa scottoline, patricia cromwell, scientific american, archaelogy, discover) woo hoo! we were in heaven. we sat there for about an hour acting all grown-up and pretentious like we were educated or something.

then we started the long walk back across the three blocks of town. down past the bank that had a long brick wall where i and my ruffian friends used to sit in the middle of the hot summer nights and watch the car (yes, one - usually the cop) go by. showed them where the cool brick and stone water fountain used to be that the city spent $1000 on and is now no longer. found a cool used book store that we shall come and visit, and got back to the jeep to head back.

back to drop off junior, chit chat with the elders, look at the prom dress (very elegant!) and discover neck hair.


I'm sitting there in the chair conversing with the ex-in-laws, and i rub my neck (which has an aggravating dry patch that mysteriously showed up a week or so ago - no idea from where. no new soaps or lotions) and discover a hair just under my jawline. thinking it is a stray that maybe stuck because i dribbled super latte or something, i try to remove it to find I CAN'T. not wanting to be offensive (i wasn't raised right but i wasn't raised rude) i just let it go until pickle and i got out to the jeep. we get a ways down the road and i turn the inside light on to see if she could see it (she could) and if it looked like it was stuck. i tugged on it, and apparently it was pretty comical because she just burst into gales of laughter (i'm giggling as i think about it) and i could barely contain myself.

who the fuck gets neck hairs? correction: ONE neck hair? nearly two inches long? ATTACHED???? for the love of all that's holy, i wash my face every day! i put face cream and foundation on EVERY DAY. would you not think i would notice a stray hair growing out of my neck?!!! and to top it off, it was a straggly, coarse, fucking GRAY hair!

as i see it, there are several potential problems here:
1) if i'm suddenly sprouting strange hairs - why?
2) if i didn't see it over the course of time it took to grow this long, what the hell is wrong with me?
3) if it grew nearly 2 inches since at least lunch time - which is the last time i remember rubbing my neck because it was "wing wednesday" and of course i had chicken grease flying everywhere - what in god's name is wrong with my system that i'm super-producing single hair strands?
4) how many people saw this and didn't say anything (as i'm thinking no wonder they're looking at me like i have 3 heads. no, dumbass, it's because you have one hair. GROWING OUT OF YOUR NECK!) this is worse than that one hair that grows out of your nipple, or on your belly. i can't remember the last time i shaved my legs and my leg hair is NOWHERE near as long as that was.

not only am i going to be the little old lady with 47 cats, i will be the little old lady with 47 cats AND strange facial hair. you've seen them. you know what i'm talkin' about. the dour old women with friggin' cat whiskers growing from their faces. *cries* life is so cruel.

so i drop off pickle and head home, playing with the hair the entire time. sick, twisted, and strangely comical. home to the bathroom with great lighting to discover the horror for myself. washed my face to try to convince myself it was just a stray stuck in chicken grease (it wasn't.) plucked it and hope no one mentions it tomorrow. it may take me awhile to live this one down. hell, it may take therapy!

anyhow... stellar girls' night out. these are the mom moments i love most.



Wien. said...

OH MY, you've just joined the old lady hair club. I'm not the president, but I could qualify for the secretary...
Did you scotch tape it into your scrap book as the first sign of failing youth?
Just kidding.
Just wait until your eyes get so blurry that you can't see those stray whiskers and need someone else to pluck 'em fer ya!
Muuhhaa ha ha!
Cheers and thanks for the laugh tonight, oh and glad you had a good time with the girls.

Steph said...

Lol, too funny. I'm sure your girls would have said something if they noticed it, so maybe you ARE the only one who saw it.

Sounds like you had a great time though.

George said...

What a story ... I have done the same over the years ... visited the old home town. It isn't the same ... too much growth, too many people. I get a kick out of showing the children what used to be where ... then you have to explain.

Thank your lucky starts that it isn't growing out of your boob or nipple.

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~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

You alright in there?