29 May 2007

Recipe for Disaster

PMS + Rich Boat People + Me + Busy Restaurant Bar + Waiting Tables (NOT Bartending) =

Buahahahahaha.... EVIL BARMAID WENCH

What is it about rich folks who own boats who think they can act any way they want and it's ok? Why do my bosses insist on putting me on the floor on our busiest days when I'm the least experienced person there? Why is the sky blue?

I admit, I suck as a waitress. I waited tables one time in my life 21 years ago for 3 months, and this time now for 2 weeks. I have tended bar (and waited on folks for bar food) several times over the years as I was putting myself through school. I can be behind a bar, busy, and be fine. Put me out in the general population, make me remember sides, drinks and the daily specials, AND be nice to people... uh uh... ain't gonna happen. Especially during THAT week when someone just walking up and saying "Hi, have a great day" can cause me to morph into a psychotic sociopath within .042 seconds. If you think it gets better as you age, think again folks.

So when some high-side-of-65-snobby-hateful-talk-down-to-you-with-a-sneer-on-her-face-condescending-woman (AND her frumpy, frustrated, bitch of a daughter-or daughter in law-I don't know, all I know is she was just as rude and obnoxious) is yelling at me (and the owner) in front of all the other tables because "I come in here every Sunday, blah blah blah" and I have to apologize because the "customer is always right, even when she's a frickin' cunt," and none of the other mitigating factors matter, (green waitress, doubled-size restaurant just reopened with inadequate staff, new computerized order system that no one knows, inefficient system), I tend to become a vicious little bitch.

I'm not 100% sure, but I'm guessing most of my tips (heh, one of my better nights actually) came because the other people around this "woman" (I damn sure wouldn't call her a Lady) felt so bad for me that they "pity-tipped" me.

Guess if it helps pay the bills, I'll take the pity tip. I may, however, pop her in the nose if she comes in again.

Miss B


Wien. said...

I totally feel for you on this one. I've never waited tables, but ran a small mom n pop pizza place. Very small, one counter, two employees, me and my hero. I got away with a lot cause I ran the place. BUT there were many people who came in who didn't know that fact. I'd get the same quality of customer that you had the pleasure of serving every once and a while. They'd talk down to me like I was just a dumb pizza bitch who didn't amount to anything, and had nothing else to do with her life besides stand behind the counter and take abuse. People should learn that the last person they want to piss off is the one preparing or serving their food! I'd have people who would spell their name for me real slow so I could understand it...B...O...B. Bob. No fucking kidding! Is there any other way to spell that sir? or the customer who wanted free food so they would find something wrong with it. My pizza's burned! (I shake my head on this one) Obviously it wasn't. When he slammed his slice on the counter and demanded that I call the owner on the phone, HeroMan picked up the pizza, flipped it over, showed him the lovely tan backside, then threw it in the trash and told him to get the fuck out of his restaurant. Oh. And guess what? When you called me a pizza bitch, you were talking to the other owner. Oh. Add another name to the 86 list. Every once and a while I will run into that guy and he's very humble now.
So, I feel for you, in the customer is always right department. It does help when you can decide who is a customer and who's not. Try interupting the boat bitch next time to tell her in a whisper voice that she has something in her teeth.

Miss B said...

wien, hon, tact has been a strong suit of mine, but patience hasn't. lol... not always a good mix. ;)

i've worked in grocery stores, gas stations, a pizza/video store (one of my fave jobs) and i've found that food service takes a special kind of patience. i know i'm pretty particular about my food, so i imagine others are too. but to be treated like i'm stupid... it just pisses me off, yannow? i have a degree in computer science... i'm working this job because i need the extra money, not because it's the only thing i'm able to do. and like i said, the rich folks off the lake are just snobs...

i'm sure there will be more fun and fodder for blogging as i go along. man, i just hate being the subservient ass-kisser... so not me... heh. ahh well...