11 May 2007

Goodbye Daddy!

(You HAVE to read the whole thing. A must.)

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying:

"God bless Mommy,
God bless Daddy,
God bless Grandma
and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this:

"God bless Mommy,
God Bless Daddy
and good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, This kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:

"God bless Mommy
and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch."

OMG... *snort* *gasp* that was my daughter!!!

Just kidding folks... seriously, though, I've been reading about single-parent deployed Heroes who, in good conscience, make arrangements for their children with the other parent as they get ready to leave. The laws state that they are to be custody-protected during this time, but the individual states' Family Law courts are overriding the laws, leaving many of our deployed men and women to fight a battle both home and abroad.

This saddens me. As the parent of a child who asked for help from the father during a time I was ill, to have him and his parents sidewind and steal the child, this does more than sadden me. This pisses me the hell off.

I was only in school and having my appendix out. These folks are out there putting their lives on the line because that is the job they accepted. They should not be penalized for doing their duty. And the non-custodial, underhanded, sneaky motherfuckers who take advantage of this? Hang 'em for treason. They are causing increased stress in our Heroes. This, in turn, causes unnecessary accidents and distracts them from the task at hand.

If the courts did not see fit to place the child with you initially, stealing them and circumventing the process because of deployment does not make that child better off. The court battles that ensue do not help the children either. Believe me, I have looked into the eyes of a judge who told me I was pissing him off and to let it go. (See previous post about killing ex in-laws seven different ways without getting caught.) It creates much strife.

I know a couple Heroes who are going through this right now. It's hard to keep their spirits up, and that's my job as a Soldiers' Angels Team Leader. Give me one more reason to kick the ass of an unAmerican asshole who makes it more difficult in an already tough time.

There is no pain compared to having to leave your family for an unknown amount of time, knowing you may never come home, wondering if you will be the same, if THEY will be the same, when you return.

There is no pain compared to losing a child to a parent that is not the best alternative, but because you have a past (we all do,) from which you are forced to seek help.

I will be watching the law on this one. This is a cause about which I will voice an opinion.

Life is painful enough. Knock it the hell off already. Putzes.

feedback welcome... opinions are free here...
Miss B


George said...

I also know what you mean Miss B. When my eldest under 2, her mother decided that 1 guy and a small daughter was boring so she left us. Several months later she decided to come back and being the fool I am (thinking she deserved a second chance) said OK. Two months later she took off again and then a couple of weeks after that called me and asked if I could make arrangements for her to pick up my daughter at day care because she was moving to another city and wouldn't be able to see the baby any longer. After arguing with her for a bit, and receiving her absolute, unconditional promise I said OK to that too. When I went to meet her and pick up my girl ... she never showed ... as any other person would have known. I searched for a week, broke into her apartment after I found out where it was (the credit card between the door jamb and the door), I must have made 100 phone calls in a couple of days, I called the police, a lawyer, a private investigator. I barely slept, I worried, I cried, I got sick. A weel after she stole my daughter she called me and told me where to meet her and I could have my girl back. Turns out that she was tired of being mother again. SInce then she has never visited, never called, never sent a birthday or christmas card. She doesn't know that I am a grandfather (after a court ruling, she is no longer my daughter's mother, all records of her giving birth have been wiped from existence ... fuck with me and I play hardball).
Doing what she did and what you and others have done is the ugliest thing that can ever be done.
Thank you for letting me get this out.

Miss B said...

George, honey, you are always welcome...

*sigh* so many things I'd do different... i guess what we've learned makes us who we are... there are some pains we overcome, but they are never erased...

and some days we fight just to sit up and breathe...

love ya hon...
miss b