08 March 2007

Cute, but great hair...

I hate that word. 99% of the time, this is the word I hear from others to describe how I look to them. Usually it's in the form of "God you're cute" and in the words of one fella who was walking by when I climbed out of my big truck at a fuel stop, "Dammit girl, you are ALL kinds of cute." What the hell does THAT mean? All kindsa cute like a troll? All kindsa cute like a leprechaun? Well, I may be 'all kinds of cute' but YOU are all kinds of stupid.

Not that being cute is a horrible thing, I suppose. But I'm a female... I admit, I like to hear "pretty, beautiful", something that for a few seconds makes me feel better-looking than a puppy or a cabbage patch doll (which, btw, I think are fugly.) You want a reaction while we're gettin' things goin'? Tell me I'm cute. That instantly tells me a) I'm f&#$able but not marry-able (ok probably not "technically" a word) and b) you're not really interested in me as a whole package, but I'll do 'til one of the "pretty, beautiful" people come along. Bite me.

But hey, I DO have great hair. I was blessed. It's naturally got a little wave to it, so when it's humid it does me no good to try to wear it down or curled, because it just poofs up and looks like a brillo pad. I know, doesn't sound so great.... BUT when it's humid like that, I let it dry in it's naturally "very wavy but not quite curly state" and put it up into a clippy and *dammit* I look *f^#&ing* cute. *sigh* And when I straighten it, it's all shiny and vampy, making me look *blink* f#*!kable . And when I "flip" it or curl it, I look "cute". OMG. I'm cute. That f!*#ing sucks.

But hey, I have great hair. And for some reason, people always want to touch it. I've kinda gotten used to it, but it used to freak me out. Woman at work (in no way, shape or form any kind of les tendencies) came up behind me while I was making some copies and just lightly fingered and flipped the end of my hair. Told me it looked really good and apologized for touching it. I didn't even turn around. "Sa-right, I'm used to it." She looked surprised. "Really?" I laughed. "Yea, don't worry about it, happens all the time." And that guy at the fuel stop who told me I was all kinds of cute? Actually grabbed a handful of my hair and started rubbing my head. "WTF are you doin'?" He just looked at me with THAT look and said "I was just imagining looking down at that." Ok ya frickin fruitloop, now you're done. I just laughed and walked away. And it's been a fascination with nearly every man I've been with. I remember one guy in high school came up behind me and touched it. When I turned around and asked him what he was doing, he told me he just had to see if it was as soft as it looked. (it was) lol.

This latest "rant" comes after not 1, but 2 of the 3 "highly compatible" matches I had exchanged pictures with sent me messages telling me I'm *ack* cute. God love 'em. They have no clue. So I'm trying to look beyond the absurdity to the men behind the words. To be fair, I'm coming off a particularly foul couple of weeks where I'm still stinging from rejection, so I'm still pissy with men in general.

So I accepted the "compliments" gracefully - a lady does. Maybe I've just been on my own for too long... it will take readjustment to get back to the dating scene. I'd rather chew off my left foot... however, it's required for shifting so I'll muddle on. For now, it's late, I have to be at work early, so me and my happy ass and my great hair are going to bed... girl's gotta get her "cute" sleep...

Miss B

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