Ok, I admit, I'm not the most graceful person in the world anymore. I'm willing to accept that. But does it have to be that every time I do something frickin' ungraceful, I have to be in front of the one someone that I really don't want to do something stupid?
Cutie-but-not-hottie-foreign-it-guy asked me a question. I'm in the next room with a wall dividing us, so I don't always hear him. I walk around the corner to where his desk sets, with a standard metal chair sitting beside it.
I have a habit of leaning. Correction: I HAD a habit of leaning. Usually I would put my knee up on the chair and lean over the desk because his questions tend to turn into lengthy discussions.
Apparently, the chair was tired of being leaned on by me. The middle broke out of it, and my knee went right down through the middle. No fear, I didn't fall all the way through because my SHIN stopped my fall. Son of a bitch.
So there I am, trapped in the center of the chair, hands on the desk to keep me from knocking myself out on a metal box he has on the edge, and what does CBNHFITG do?
Laughs his fucking ass off.
No "Are you alright?" or "Can I help you?" Just buahahahahahaha.
So I remove myself from what's left of the chair with as much decorum as I can muster while saying "Damn that hurt." I hobble around with what's left of my pride (for cryin' out loud, do I have ANY left?) and take the remains of the chair out to the dump area. All the while, CBNHFITG is just dying.
I go into the HR guy's office and tell him I should start an incident report because I've maimed myself on company property. He asked what happens; I tell him. He said he heard CBNHFITG laugh, but didn't know why. I told him I was unamused at the lack of help received by CBNHFITG. HR Guy started laughing. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate HR behavior. He then asked me if I was alright, to which I put my hand up and walked out of the room, listening to BOTH HR Guy AND CBNHFITG laughing around me. They were only sad that they didn't catch it on video so they could put it on YouTube and America's Funniest Home Videos. Assholes.
So for the rest of the day, I hear CBNHFITG talking about how I was Jackie-Chan style karate kicking the furniture and hurting myself. HR Guy was defending himself saying he DID ask if I was alright... yea, AFTER you laughed at me. Putz.
Then CBNHFITG asks me if I'm ok. I tell him I'll live, just as I always do. So he says, "Good, then I don't want to hear you bitch about it all day."
And of course, half the office was down at the tavern Friday night to tell me not to lean on any furniture and hurt myself. And to watch out for my leg while I was working.
So today I'm hobbling around with a bruise on my leg the size of Rhode Island and being pissy.
But not for long... Pickle has her first Prom tonight... so off I go to help her get ready... Hair, nails, makeup, pretty, strappy shoes... *sigh*
Have a great weekend...