02 August 2007

Venturing out into the Real World...

Ahh, the weekend is nearly upon us. I am so looking forward to it. Kinda. Sorta. Well, the working at the bar part.

Pickle's coming over for the weekend. Surprise! *grin* No tennis or band stuff this weekend (one of the few precious remaining ones of her summer) so she called me up to let me know. She said she'd probably come down in the afternoon Friday.

It turns out, I am breaking out of my shell. One of our truck suppliers at work is sponsoring a race day for their customers at a local racetrack about 50 miles away. They pay for the tickets in and our company kicks in dinner and transportation, and we get to watch truck racing and other festivities. We're planning on taking off right after work Friday evening in a large van.

Me: *breathe* Ok, I can do this.
'Zac: Yes, you can. You'll be fine.
Me: But I'll have to spend "quality time" with other people from work outside my normal scope.
'Zac: Yes.
Me: And I'll have to deal with thousands of people I don't know in a setting with which I'm unfamiliar.
'Zac: True.
Me: I will not be driving; I cannot ride in another vehicle without being in control.
'Zac: You will focus on talking to your daughter, take an ipod, and breathe.
Me: It's not my apartment, it's not my couch, and I won't be able to lounge around in my USC jersey.
'Zac: Nope, you will be socializing. You will be going out in public; people will see you. You will have to be NICE.
Me: *sigh* What if I can't?
'Zac: You can.

Upside: Pickle is now going with me. I will be around someone familiar, someone who knows the struggle. Someone who will help me.

This is stupid. I am a grown woman. I am completely independent, self-sufficient, and capable. Why do I have so much difficulty doing something outside my home other than work?

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