Horoscope (Mine): You are likely feeling more positive about who you are and what you are doing with your life. It's as if you have awakened from a deep sleep because someone switched the lights on. Take it slowly, for there is no need to overreact. If you work yourself into a flurry of activity, you will only have to retreat again so that you don't go over the edge.
Exactly 18 years ago today, I spewed forth the spawn of Satan.
Tonight, I get to go to dinner with the spawn, and Satan himself...
Just kidding, folks... well, not really, but what kind of mom would I be if I told you I really meant that??? And the dinner part is true. How I got roped into this, I am unsure.
Apparently Satan has decided he wants to be a dad. (Umm, fucknut, you're a wee bit on the late side... just sayin'.) So he's been calling her frequently, and playing nice with me. She knows he wasn't there when she was growing up, but she holds the little girl's dream of actually having a daddy; even when he lets her down...
But, it's a happy day... :) At 9:30 am (when it was official,) I sent her a message that said,
"Happy Birthday Babygirl. We made it!!! Love you, momma."
A little while later, (most likely after she rolled her hungover self out of bed to get ready for work, lol) she answered:
"Thanks momma it was fun huh? I'll come c u after work on my way 2 dinner."
Heh. Stellar. So to let her know what I think, I tell her...
"Yea, fabulous dahling... ;) "
"Haha lol i'll c u in a lil bit."
We have a unique relationship. She balked at having a mother (as most girls do) during the years she was a child. Now that she's an adult, she acts more like a daughter than ever. It's amusing.
So now we're talking plans. I have high hopes for her. College? Most likely. She had it planned to go to a local college for 2 years, pull a good GPA and head to a big 4 year school to finish. Now we have another kink. A "someone" who wants her to come stay with them. A special (to her) someone who lives very far away. (About 16 hours by car.) This would mean striking out completely on her own, with little help from me, and putting college off for at least a semester.
I'm a little hesitant about this. But then again, I didn't travel and explore when I wanted because I thought I wouldn't make it without certain someones and family. How do I tell her not to follow her dreams and explore the world when I've been telling her all these years not to be afraid to follow her dreams and explore the world so she knows who she is before she settles down? Hypocrite, I would be.
*sigh* And as much as it's going to pain me, I have to let her make her own decisions now. All I can offer is advice and guidance that she'll ignore, then be there to help pick up the pieces and start over for whichever part that life throws at her... and who knows? Maybe in her freedom, I'll find some of my own.
Happy Birthday, Junior. May your life be filled with many wonders, much love, and peace.