Poke this, ya ass-clown

I love my job.
Not.
I love the people with whom I work.
Not.

I tolerate both. Mainly because I'm bored and I am not an office politics kind of person. I try. I hold my tongue most of the time. However, I really suck at ass-kissing, and quite frankly, if my stellar job performance isn't enough to show my worth, all the brown-nosing in the world isn't gonna make it any better.

To that end, it's a small (people wise) company. Family owned by parents and 3 siblings. About 20 people work inside, maybe 30 outside. The atmosphere is typically friendly and relaxed, yet unabashedly two-faced and backbiting. Not to mention, there are about 70 percent of the people that work here that are related; so of course, the rules of conduct are a bit more relaxed than some. Lots of dirty jokes and innuendos flying around.

Now, I spent many years travelling the roads and being subjected to lots of crap like this. Some days I might even join in, depending on the company and my mood. I'll be the first to admit my mind wanders right beside the gutter some days, and others it just jumps full in. I do have a sense of propriety, though, and know when I should/shouldn't say something. A gift of mine that obviously some folks in my office don't have.

For example... Big Papa is one of our drivers. He's a big, old happy black guy with whom I worked before at another company. He comes into the office all hip and fly and "what's the schnizzle my dizzle" kinda shit. Most days he's a likable enough guy. Others I'd like to kick his ass from one side of the office to the other. He comes in, stares at me and sticks his big ol' tongue out and waggles it while moving his head around in circles. I just pretend to not notice and go in another room or start talkin' to someone else. Or if I'm standing talking to someone, he'll come over and look me up and down like I'm some nappy 'ho waitin' to be picked up by someone in a bar. Most days I ignore it. Others I say something because frankly, if I'm not into you, and I've told you I don't care for that, don't fucking do it. Simple? 'Coz I can guarantee that if you keep doin' it, it will make me want to do anything but have something to do with you. There are certain people in my life that I don't mind being suggestive with me; you are not one of them.

Them I can deal with; we have HR, and if it becomes a huge problem, the HR people will step in. It's the owners (one of them being my direct boss) that cause me issues.

Today: I'm waiting to use the restroom. My boss is blocking the door talking to someone. I'm fairly patient and quiet when having to wait on someone. He looks at me and says, "What's up?"

"Just waiting for you to move out of the way so I can use the restroom."

"Oh, no problem, should've said something."

As I walk in and start to shut the door, he says "Don't let your finger poke through the toilet paper."

heh. I'm not even gonna do a WTF? I'm just going to flat-out say why in the fuck would you say that to someone (unrelated, subordinate) at any given time? And this would be the one who's wife works in the office, within earshot of the 5 other people who heard this.

So what do you do? The HR guy empathizes. He knows some things cross some lines; this is typical I'm sure of any company. I'm not a femi-nazi, neither am I gutter-trash. Some days I find the humor in it, others it makes me very uncomfortable.

Anyhow... rant over.