'Zac's Back - Day 1

The sun is shining; the birds are chirping. The tick of the clock on the wall is going to cause me to lift the entertainment center with my bare hands and throw it out the sliding doors. (Um, did I mention it's that great week of the month that I always SO look forward to because of the searing pains and unimaginable mood swings?) :) Really, I'm ok. However, I'm not sure the cat is going to make it if he steps in front of me ONE MORE TIME.

:) No, I'm ok.

Last couple months have been rough. I don't understand that because I really haven't had that much that should bother me. Well, except Junior getting back into trouble because of Senioritis, and facing the empty nest syndrome, and the job for which I don't care, and taking on a second job, and trying to maintain in my classes, which I really like taking, but have a hard time staying interested in some because they just don't interest me, and thoughts of one particular ex that have surfaced again for no discernable reason (no empty wishing there, just working through some stuff,) and trying to make the right decisions this time around, and being mildly envious of someone who gets to do what I always wanted to do *pang* (leaving TUESDAY *sniff*) and just some other piddly little things, and the mind-racing.

Nothing major. I'm ok. :)

So anyhow... Went yesterday to speak with the new Doc. He's a she. I kinda like her. She took the time, didn't make me feel rushed, and answered all my questions and concerns. And she didn't look at me like I had 3 heads when I told her of the emotional outbursts and being a hermit. So we're "working" on that.

There's some sort of festival in town this weekend. The kids are going. I am not. I am still struggling with playing tennis 3 nights a week and occasionally going to see my best friend. I hate this. Didn't use to bother me going out, dealing with people, interacting. My girls remind me so much of when I was their age. Free-spirited, always laughing, constantly on the run. Good God I don't want them to grow up and be like me.

Anyhow... there won't be any noticeable difference until about Tuesday or Wednesday. Everyone else will notice in a few weeks. Today, I will get the "sleepies" in a couple hours, so I need to finish a quiz that's due by noon.

'Zac: you'll be fine.
me: not so sure, buddy. it's different this time.

'Zac: i'm here now. we'll get that serotonin movin' and those synapses firing. i'm tellin' ya, just relax, go with it, and i'll check in with you in a couple days. mm-kay?

me. okay.
'Zac: that's my girl... you've hung in there this long, I'll get you through the rest of it.