13 September 2006

What your mother never told you about getting older...

Now that I'm finally old enough to know HOW I want my hair styled, do you think it would actually DO what I want? The only time it looks fabulous is when I've had great sex... can you remember the last time my hair looked fabulous? Me neither.

Age spots, little lines, dimples in spots that never had them before, little red splotches. Pimples for crying out loud! I think I had 12 all through high school... NOW I GET THEM???

Eyes... why is it I get up in the morning and my eyes start watering only AFTER I already have my makeup on???
And from the other end... Don't even ask me to sit in a vehicle for more than 2 hours. God help me if I laugh too hard! Air brake dance... know it backwards and forwards! And ass leakage??? I am NOT even going there....

Well, we all know it wasn't what it was at 17. Youth is wasted on the young is SUCH a true statement! If I had the knowledge I have now with the body I had at 17, Jenna Jameson would have NOTHING on me!
Exercise is a futile endeavor. Now that I need it, I no longer care. All it does is prove to me that I have ass where I didn't have ass before. Don't need to end up on oxygen to figure THAT one out!

And where did I put that??? I don't know if it's better that I don't have good short-term memory or not anymore. It helps that I forget the stupid things that people say that piss me off... and yet, and I forget where I was going with that.

Again, now that I'm old enough to truly enjoy and appreciate sex, the things I WANT to do will put me in traction. *sigh* Bad hair it is. Multiple orgasms? Hospital for 3 days.

Need I go on? Thanks Ma! :)

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